THE MAN IN THE ARENA by Theodore Roosevelt
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…..
I recently spent a week exploring shame and vulnerability – I bet your trying hard to imagine how much fun that was!
But truly, I promise it was amazing! I got to visit Texas, to hang out with Brené Brown and I am now a certified Daring Way™ Facilitator Candidate!
The training was so rich and inspiring, and I have come home with lots of exciting plans to share the work in groups, in organisations and one to one with my clients.
Watch this space!
So back to Texas…..Right at the beginning of the week Brené asked:
Where do you want to show up, be seen and live brave?™
I got lots of answers for myself, and I might share some more scary honesty another time, but for now I want to tell you about the shame gremlins that stalk my blog posts!
When I get to the doorway of that arena (the one with me, my thoughts and the keyboard) I imagine it to be filled with people wearing special glasses and hearing aids that filter my words and make it impossible for me to be understood.
Yikes!
Sometimes deciding to write this blog is like standing at the doorway to the arena and finding a plague of shame gremlins whispering to me –Don’t write. Keep quiet. Hang back. Shush!
The vulnerability feels shaky and uncertain, but that’s what vulnerability is.
Uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.
So what’s the choice?
Shrink back? Hide? Play it safe?
Well I guess I could try that, but the truth is that trying to protect ourselves from vulnerability is an endless and exhausting game. And it is impossible to win!
To live is to be vulnerable.
To love is to be exposed.
To connect I need to show myself.
Vulnerability is risky because if I show up and be seen then I am probably going to fall down sometimes. But it is also the way to joy, connection and authenticity. And boy do I want those things in abundance!
There are no guarantees in this space of vulnerability, however there is an aliveness that I love. A shaky aliveness that I want to lean into with my whole heart. I want to listen to the invitation to show up and connect, with curiosity and openness – to myself and others – AND treat myself gently and with care.
So I give myself permission to feel all my feelings and to be imperfect. To mess up, to make mistakes, to be afraid, to dance, to sing and to ask for help. To make my self-care a priority and to make space for stillness.
Because stepping into vulnerability is not always easy. It is a choice that I have learned to make over and over. To open myself up, instead of shrinking back. Because I know that this is the path to my heart and to being fully in the flow of life!
Today I choose to show myself. To be seen.
To share where I am with those that want to see. To say yes to what my heart longs for. To say no, even when it might disappoint others. To shout from the rooftops about all the exciting things I am doing, as well as acknowledge the challenges I face in stepping up to the plate.
To risk my heart, again and again.
I invite you to do the same!
Where do you want to show up, be seen and live brave?™
