The Language of the Heart

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is the life work of Marshall B Rosenberg PhD who dedicated himself to developing and teaching communication that inspires connection, understanding and collaboration, and to understanding what conditions, both external and internal, interfere with people’s natural capacity to be connected to life and to respond humanely in challenging moments.

While we may not consider the way we talk to be ‘violent,’ our words often lead to hurt and pain, whether for others or for ourselves.

– Marshall Rosenburg

NVC begins by assuming that we all share the same, basic human needs and that everyone is doing the best they can, given the access they have to internal resources, to meet needs. In particular NVC focuses on how language and the presence we bring to our communication can support connection, and offers a map or pathway for clear, honest expression as well as for deep listening.

“To listen is to continually give up all expectation and to give our attention, completely and freshly, to what is before us, not really knowing what we will hear or what that will mean. In the practice of our days, to listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.”

– Nepo, Mark, The Exquisite Risk, Daring to Live an Authentic Life

Nonviolent Communication  offers us the choice to ‘respond’ rather than ‘react’, especially when in challenging situations, and gives us tools to reconnect when our relationships become frayed and stressed.

With practice NVC offers a way to explore how to meet needs while moving away from ideas of right or wrong and good or bad. A new way of meeting the life inside us helps shift the critical inner voice into a curious and loving friend, so you are able to turn towards yourself and others with warmth and compassion.

This transformation offers the possibility of making different and more life-serving choices about how you react to and engage with life…uncovering a pathway to deeper, more satisfying connections, skills to stay with conflicts and a much needed capacity to show up for duty in these troubled times.

Practicing NVC in a group is a wholehearted exploration of speaking up, listening, establishing rapport and recognising differences. Join with an open mind and a willingness to ask more of yourselves and each other, engaging in authentic connection with those you love, those you don’t love, and the living world that sustains you.

Resources for exploring NVC

in Marshall’s words

Marshall’s book Nonviolent Communication – A Language For Life, shares this beautiful model for communicating with others and yourself compassionately.

But how do we listen?

It is so simple and so hard. So obvious to begin and so elusive to maintain.

In this lies the vitality of deep listening.

To keep beginning. Over and over.

To keep emptying and opening. And simply to keep listening.

For to listen is to continually give up all expectation and to give our attention, completely and freshly, to what is before us, not really knowing what we will hear or what that will mean.

In the practice of our days, to listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.  –

Mark Nepo – EXQUISITE RISK – Daring to Live an Authentic Life